First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
When do i get to see u next week?
When I teabag your entire family
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
Is it bad that my only regret is fucking on the bathroom floor and not the sink?
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I've got my wine, though it wasnt very good so I threw a sour patch kid in it
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
Know what I do when I'm in that mood? Whenever anyone talks to me I just hiss like a cat. They go away.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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