Do vagina's smell?
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
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