I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
She's currently singing "I'm gonna keep on lovin you" to her pillow. How do you think tonight went?
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