party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
i would totally switch to progressive if they'd let me bang that girl in the commercial.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
