Party's warming up, a tranny just got here...
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
One good thing about being really drunk when you go out to dinner is that the leftovers are a surprise. These quesadillas had shrimp in them! Who knew?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
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