you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
I was giving him a blowjob but we had to stop because he started crying when his cat walked in and started staring at us
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
what is considered shitting yourself?
Like my underwear wasn't soiled, but there was definitely a departure from my asshole.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Randomize
