I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
New game: Step 1) Turn on ESPN. Step 2) Drink every time someone says "LeBron."
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Just let a guy I just met eat me out in a shed at a baby shower. May have sunk to a brand new low
Randomize