If I were a woman I'd fill my water bra with liquor so that I could sip on it throughout the day.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
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