on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
In reality u ask do u have beer at your house but what your really saying is will there be cock in my mouth
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
Randomize
