She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
were drug buddies, doing lines off her ass is just a bonus
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
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