What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
He goes "what would you say if I told you I like to get it in?" def a potential soulmate right there.
Randomize
