The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Tanner. All u drink. 10 bckaa. Locked in Porto potty outside. Constructed area. Main strrrreeeett. Fuck. Help. Pleese
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
