I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
the only good thing about breaking up with him while naked was that i got to make a forgetting sarah marshall reference
When your boyfriends ex-girlfriend texts you to see what you're wearing to his sister's wedding that you were not invited to, nor knew about. I think it's time to call it quits.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
You told me that you were as fast as lightning and you wanted to race me. Then you faceplanted after falling down the stairs.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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