Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Dude imagine how many pictures of dicks Obama gets. That can't be unusual. Almost every kids in the US has written the president a letter.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
Randomize
