She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
He's ruined me. Do you know how frustrating it is to know I'll never find another guy as tall and handsome and rich with as big of lips & booty, and cock as him who also rims and takes me on tropical vacations and buys me all the cocaine.
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
