Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Best. Handjob. Ever.
I'm guessing Kelly is over?
Nope. Home alone.
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
