Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
