Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Being the only woman in a triathlon group - it's a penis paradise.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
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