It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
Just wrote the directions to get to the girls house im hooking up with on the back of my marriage certificate. Officially worst husband ever.
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
I hope April is a better month for dicks. March has been very disappointing.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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