i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
Because that's what you do with poop. You expect the worst.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
Randomize
