i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
I was sleeping on the bathroom floor and thought a wet towel might keep me warm.
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
why did i wake up in the bathroom?
we had to stay with you a while until we convinced you it wasn't safe to wash your face, then you fell asleep with your foot in the toilet.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
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