can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
This may have to wait till tomorrow. I smoked so my back wouldn't hurt and I overshot relaxed by like 4 hits casually
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
How many fucks given?
0.12846
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He looks like an accountant with a secret kinky candy filled center.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
