He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
His penis looked like how I would imagine Satan's pinky finger.
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
I woke up with a dick pic from the ex-Mormon via email. Not really what I wanted to see before my first cup of coffee this morning, but I gotta say, I'm impressed.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
Randomize
