i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
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