That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
Randomize
