At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
What can I say? I like my food like I like my women, not entirely fucked by our contemporary world.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
I really hope you didn't eat the bowl of melted vanilla ice cream I left on the coffee table. Because it is not melted vanilla ice cream.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
