he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
Hi I haven't talked to you since you bought legal marijuana-are you still stoned?
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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