Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Ya I got a cut on my head from the toilet seat last time I drank there.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
