Who's your beautiful friend? Please include the words "Straight", "Single", and "Legal" in your response.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I can't ever date him again. Whenever I see his face I just remember helplessly pissing myself in my car.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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