I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
it was like having sex with a tree stump
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
I know it should be off bounds, but can this be the chick we all sleep with at some point? I can write it off as drunken mistake, you all just have to come up with equally good excuses
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
I'm sorry, but if I hear stories of you getting fingered in the ass, and selling weed, you are not coming to my party.
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
