Look at my ENTIRE past
Highly public sexual behavior gross mismanagement of funds socially unaccpetable and radical speech and thought
Might as well have a blog about it at this point
you kept telling everyone that you were the mayor of silverware town
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
just got high and bedazzled my bra. other than bleeding from the prongs life is so good.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
It's always a good night until the penis tattoo makes an appearance
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
