woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
We were high as balls fucking in the back seat when we saw the blue lights. He's like, "I got this" and walked over butt ass naked and goes, "Sorry dude, we're just banging" and the cop apologized for disturbing us and drove off.
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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