i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
We were squawking at each other for over an hour like chickens. Literally. Never touching the stuff again and never again showing my face at that Denny's.
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
World Cup Drinking Game: Take a shot every time they call a foul for something we don't understand. Gotta risk it to get the biscuit.
no its a draw, weve been through this, when were keeping score on getting laid i get a plus 1 handicap each week because of your British accent! its only fair!
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
Randomize
