Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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