Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
At what point does "I'm too high to deal with you right now" stop being rude?
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
