I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
as if moving home wasnt embarassing enough, mom picked up my laundry while i was gone. guess who needs to find a new hiding spot for his cum towel..this guy.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
You took your shirt off at the bar, handed it to a girl, and made her wash your dirty shirt on your washboard abs
tuesdays get the best of me...
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
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