Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
There's an old bald Japanese dude on the metra next to me. He's drinking MGD on a crowded train, and rocking out way too hard to what may be the same Dallas Green song I'm listening to. Life is sweet.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
