Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
We convinced her the game "just the tip" was a billiards game. She was asking a couple guys if they wanted to play as we left. I kinda don't want to ask her how the rest of the night went.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
5th glass of wine. There's pictures of Jesus everywhere. It's like you're constantly reminded of your sins here.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Just because I know you’ll get a kick out of this, I sneezed earlier and cupcake frosting came out
We should form a club for all of us that have stabbed a sibling with a fork!
Randomize
