Church boner. Awkwardddd
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
He tried to break dance on the island in the kitchen and ended up knocking over everyone's alcohol onto the floor then yelled "GUCCI" before vomiting
If I were better looking, this would be the point where I'd resign myself to stripping.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
Randomize
