just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
No one parties "Full Karen". She once broke a couple up at the bar, ate the girl out in the bathroom and took the guy home.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
