drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
She called picking up at 2pm a matinee drug deal.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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