All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize