after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
Upperdeckered the toilet. Took sombrero off, drawing too much heat. Witnessed glassing. In bush, come findme.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I was going to text him and apologize but I didn't want him to think that meant I approved of him being my niece's booty call.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
The thumbs up barstamp on my hand is mocking my hangover with its positivity.
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
This is your post bachelor party survival text. This a free and complementary service to make sure you are still alive. For alive, say yes. For hurting, say ugh. If lost, say help. If dead, please feel free to not respond. Thank you and we hope you enjoyed the party.
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