Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
'Well you know, stuff happens' isn't really an excuse for sticking a cheeto in my ear
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I feel like I put a fire out with my hand but idk if that was a dream or not
You didnt text me.. I'm on your street with golf clubs
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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