actually, I'm a sock model
just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
I can't keep up with all the guys you're banging. I'm just going to start referring to them by city of origin.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
Masturbating to the DNC live stream. Not my proudest moment
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
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