So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
