so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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