She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Some drunk couple just made out on the sidewalk and it reminded me some sweet moments we have shared...
Somehow I don't trust you in this state to talk to you about a colonoscopy
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Just got a snapchat from him that was a video of with the caption "my new apartment" in Brazil. I think we might not be seeing eachother anymore.
this is the last time i am going to a 7am booty call
Randomize
