well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
She devotes each year to either men or women. I waited all year for her to be straight, tonights the night.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
She moved all of her stuff out while we were gone. Shit in the toilet, and didn’t flush. So yeah it went well.
Randomize
