You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
You asked my mom "who the fuck drives four hours to sleep in a guys bed and not touch his penis"
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
I would totes be making out with random people in the name of america if I was at the white house right now
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Guys I ate pizza off the fucking ground of the cab. I am the worst type of person
Randomize
