We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
Come get your boy. He's cuddling with a bag of rice on the floor.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
