either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I microwaved pizza rolls, a hot dog, and bacon in the same plate with no paper towels. I drank the grease at the end. I'm going to vomit everywhere.
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
I need mimosas to revive my soul
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
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