the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
He was stoned and starts screaming, "I ain't got but a dollar, I wanna hear waterfalls!". Maybe he can hang with us....
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
