someone owes me an orgasm
There was a lot of him and a little penis
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
I know i'm the slutty cousin, but be honest. have you ever got your nose ring caught on a guy's zipper?
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I'm alone drinking at the bar and the titanic theme song is on. This won't end well.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Drunk me just want to text sober me for saving that half rack of ribs I loves you
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
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