No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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