youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
all night she kept rolling over and mumbling something about wanting an extendable retractable urethra.
Bring me that man meat
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
