somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Is it because I queefed?
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Randomize
