At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
I accidentally threw away from slim jim and some lady saw me dig it out of the garbage. It was unopened but still, I look so homeless.
I just worked out and used handles of vodka as weights. Whoever said alcoholism is detrimental to you health obviously has no fucking idea.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
So high, just applauded for a magic trick on Hulu.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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