i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
Her dad smelled like someone lit a fart and burned their ass hairs.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
Well... this vagina won't eat itself
I just puked in my non fat yogurt... But it's non fat in hopes that someone wants to eat my vagina
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I'm so hungover I can't taste anything
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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