I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
I will consider it. I need to determine if ogling him is worth almost certain death via zipline.
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
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